Let’s Get it Straight: Which Trump is Which Bluth

This week Twitter decided Donald Trump, Jr. was GOB Bluth. And it makes sense. The Trump family screams Arrested Development. A wealthy but dumb real estate family, who also dabbles in treason? The comparisons almost write themselves. And Twitter went in on Donald, Jr.

But it’s not just Gob and not it’s not just Don Jr.

It goes further.

Even me?

 

But some have debated this.

But hold onto your Mr. Manager name tags, because we are breaking this down, right here right now. Arrested Development is like the Trump friends and family looked into a magic mirror that made them all more likable and just a little more functional.

Donald and George Oscar Bluth, Sr.

Ah yes, the patriarchs. One is in jail, the other should be in jail. Both ready to sell out anyone on this list at the drop of a hat. Many words can be used here: narcissist, misogynist, asshole. From the endorsements– be it steaks or cornballers– to the “light” treason, these real estate moguls are really just a pair of aging, grumpy criminals.

Ivanka and Lucille Bluth

While it is weird to assign Ivanka the wife character, Trump did claim he wanted to fuck his own daughter, so I’m not the real pervert here. They are both mean and rich and seem to do about the same amount of work.

Don, Jr. and GOB

When Twitter is right, Twitter is right. Both men are dumb and vain and cause nothing but problems. While they might try to do anything for Daddy’s love, they are just going to end up messing everything up.

Eric and Steve Holt

Doesn’t have to say much to come off as a total dummy.

Maryanne and Oscar George Bluth

Just look at her and tell me that she isn’t just Trump wearing a wig? Side note: her mother’s name was Mary Anne and her name is Maryanne, kind of a Oscar George-George Oscar situation, no?

Barron and Buster Bluth

OH THE BABY! He can’t be evil yet? Can he? Or is he the most Oedipal and murdery one of all?

Jared and Barry Zuckerkorn

Much like Barry, Jared has no qualifications or skills to do the job assigned and he is going to accidentally fuck over this whole family. If only they had gone with a professional.

Bannon and Carl Weathers

Both pretend to be experts to get close to the family. Classic scammers. I assume both of them would hate this comparison.

Melania and Lindsey

An outsider in their own families with no real skills except trying to look hot. Man, it’s hard being adopted in. She didn’t want any of this, she just wanted to be a rich mom who does incredibly dumb charity work.

Tiffany and Annyong (Hel-Loh)

Let me ask you this, when is the last time you have heard Tiffany say anything. Was it before the election? Where is she? Have you seen her? I mean she must be somewhere, but she’s not getting her own story.

 

Kellyanne and Michael

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They are trying to keep everyone together, but it’s not working. Usually it all ends in a bunch of foot in mouth moment and screaming matches.

Betsy Devos and Maeby

 

Hates school? Check! Doing a job they definitely shouldn’t be doing? Check. From a rich family? Check. In over their heads? Check. Maybe kissed a cousin? Jury is out.

Scott Baio and Tobias Onyango Fünke 

Every great family needs a weird-bad actor that supports them. The only thing that makes this weird is Scott Baio should really be Bob Loblaw, but the real Scott Baio is not Loblaw at all.

Michael Flynn and Egg

Religious fanatics who get shit on from all sides? Them?

Spicer and Kitty

They stick by their men… those crazy idiots.

I know what you’re thinking: “There’s no George Michael?!” Yeah. No there isn’t. He’s too much of a good person for the real Trump family. All the Bluths are better than the Trump family, but some characters are too likable, too pure. 

You keep shining, buddy.

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